You bought every single one of the DVDs, books and toys — when it comes to the thing you love, shouldn’t you also have the right to make and sell your own merchandise of it? Guess what: you do! This informative panel shows you how enjoying a thing is the same as creating it — an idea you can literally take to the bank.

Wondering how to turn something you found on deviantArt into a 12-oz mug on Zazzle? Curious if you’ll get in trouble for Kickstarting a Harry Potter sequel? Unsure if two different pop culture properties belong on the same t-shirt? Then you just might find this panel to be more than meets the eye wibbly wobbly timey wimey turtle power.

Featured guests: Anthony Jurgett, opposite-of-a-lawyer

Ever wonder what a waste of a good young man’s time that insipid Home Stuck nonsense is all about? Or what these kids are doing outside a perfectly good convenience store wearing their black clothes and belt buckles and gray face paint and their silly goddamned devil horns? And how one of them is wearing a pair of busted glasses and wearing a shirt so tight she might as well be walking around outside in the altogether? Jesus H. Christ.

Well, I’ll be good and goddamned if I know what’s gotten into these kids. I’d ask where their parents are but you know they’re just as bad. Probably buying them all the Home Stuck toys and movies in the first place. Just a goddamned shame.

Featured guest: my grandfather

So you read that XKCD strip and you bought a ball pit to have sex in. The hard work’s over, right?

Wrong. If improperly cared for, your ball pit can become a money pit — and fast. This panel will guide you through some of the “pitfalls” of being a plastic sphere cavity enthusiast. You’ll learn hands- and balls-on how to clean your ball pit; when it’s the right time to replace worn-out balls (contrary to the old adage, it’s not winter!); and some common warning signs that your ball pit is attracting mice. Much like owning a ball pit, this panel’s a no-brainer.

Featured panelist: Ball pit inventor Geoffrey Balls

We take a look back at groundbreaking 1970s Tijuana bible star Foxy J. Foxbit, who sucked and f██ed his way through infringement after infringement before creator Jerry Pound was found dead in a Detroit water tower. Our panelists chart the rise and decline of this funnybook character, notable for being so offensive it commanded the first ever copyright annulment.

Featured panelists: Jerry Pound Jr., Foxbit creator’s brother

We thought it would be appropriate to take a moment and remember all those we’ve lost overseas — and those still fighting for freedom as members of the United States Armed Forces. Join an unnamed man dressed as a videogame character as he yells tributes through a felt-covered costume head, and explains how gamers are the real heroes — and soldiers are the real gamers.

Featured guests: An iPod Shuffle loaded with royalty-free patriotic music

Our panelists analyze how Doctor Who makes use of the concept of exceptionalism in a non-American context. Socioeconomically, the TARDIS represents a post-need okay is everyone else gone? Great. This is not a panel. Cosplay as your favorite Doctor for a full-out hour-long makeout orgy. Bring wet wipes.

Featured guests: none