So you read that XKCD strip and you bought a ball pit to have sex in. The hard work’s over, right?

Wrong. If improperly cared for, your ball pit can become a money pit — and fast. This panel will guide you through some of the “pitfalls” of being a plastic sphere cavity enthusiast. You’ll learn hands- and balls-on how to clean your ball pit; when it’s the right time to replace worn-out balls (contrary to the old adage, it’s not winter!); and some common warning signs that your ball pit is attracting mice. Much like owning a ball pit, this panel’s a no-brainer.

Featured panelist: Ball pit inventor Geoffrey Balls

We take a look back at groundbreaking 1970s Tijuana bible star Foxy J. Foxbit, who sucked and f██ed his way through infringement after infringement before creator Jerry Pound was found dead in a Detroit water tower. Our panelists chart the rise and decline of this funnybook character, notable for being so offensive it commanded the first ever copyright annulment.

Featured panelists: Jerry Pound Jr., Foxbit creator’s brother

We thought it would be appropriate to take a moment and remember all those we’ve lost overseas — and those still fighting for freedom as members of the United States Armed Forces. Join an unnamed man dressed as a videogame character as he yells tributes through a felt-covered costume head, and explains how gamers are the real heroes — and soldiers are the real gamers.

Featured guests: An iPod Shuffle loaded with royalty-free patriotic music

Our panelists analyze how Doctor Who makes use of the concept of exceptionalism in a non-American context. Socioeconomically, the TARDIS represents a post-need okay is everyone else gone? Great. This is not a panel. Cosplay as your favorite Doctor for a full-out hour-long makeout orgy. Bring wet wipes.

Featured guests: none